I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
