i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
