To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
