we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
