i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
