I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
