really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
