you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
