there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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