So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
