Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She's the barista slut.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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