Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
