we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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