I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Randomize
