You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
