I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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