I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
