Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
