you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
