i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
