Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
