Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize