Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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