she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i need some magic done to my vagina
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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