You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
