Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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