just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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