I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
