Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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