just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
