then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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