Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize