I just threw up on my dentist
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
