And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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