I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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