Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I could fuck to npr.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
