im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
