I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
