Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
