This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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