Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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