Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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