brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
