"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
