fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
