my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize