I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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