batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
