Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
