that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We have so much sex to catch up on
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
