First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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