Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
