this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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