I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
