Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
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It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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