I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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