if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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